Monday, October 8, 2018

Natural Birth vs Epidural: Both Sides of the Birthing Ball

  

Most pregnant women are faced with the decision of having a natural or medicated birth. As mothers, we all want what is best for our babies, as well as for us. There are several factors to consider in making such an important decision; possible complications with the pregnancy or birth, family opinions and pressures, fear and anxiety, as well as personal beliefs. Yet, there are no right answers on how to plan for the birth of your baby. Sometimes our plans change and that is okay, too. I’ve been faced with the task of weighing out the pros and cons of these choices, and experienced the good and bad of both.

   When I became pregnant with my eldest daughter, I immediately knew that I wanted a natural birthing experience. I spent most of my pregnancy reading about pain management, breathing exercises, and visualization techniques. Despite having wanted to be prepared, I never went to birthing classes. I didn’t believe I needed them. I mean, how much learning is needed to give birth? I thought I knew it all.  I didn’t,  and maybe I should have taken the birthing classes, after all. I wasn’t scared of the pain and I had thought I had researched all the possibilities on my own. I was scheduled to be induced. However, the day I was to be induced, I began contracting on my own on the way to the hospital. My doctor advised stopping my contractions to begin the induction process. I continued to contract, so I was administered a Pitocin drip and began the wait. As the contractions intensified I walked laps around the L&D ward, bounced away on a birthing ball, and listened to relaxing music to cope with the pain, just like I had studied. I was doing great. At least until I hit the 21-hour mark. By that point I was exhausted, bed-bound due to internal monitoring of the baby, and had only dilated to 7 cm. All I wanted was sleep. I finally caved and asked for an epidural. I thought with an epidural I could sleep for an hour or two and would be energized for delivery. Boy, was I wrong! I very quickly dilated to a 10 and was ready to push. I could feel the pressure of my body trying to push while waiting for the doctor but not an ounce of pain. My beautiful daughter was born only 7 minutes later. I was so happy with my experience; pain free and fairly quick. I did great after delivery and I never second guessed my decision.

   The birth experience of my first was like a drug I had become addicted to. Knowing what sweet relief I could get from the epidural, I wanted it as soon as the pain intensified with my second child. I went into labor on my own and had my second baby girl after only 4 1/2 hours. However, the epidural was a completely different experience this time. The epidural had been placed incorrectly and had only numbed my right side. The medical team increased the dosage of medication I was receiving in the epidural and rolled me to my left side in an effort  to numb both sides. However, this left the right side of my lower body numb for hours after the epidural should have worn off. The evening I was released to go home my right leg went completely numb while carrying my newborn daughter to bed and I collapsed.  I continued to experience extreme back pain at the epidural site accompanied by random numbness in my right leg.  I experienced pain for months and truly turned against my own decision. I was accepting of my original plan changing, but this was not okay. It was a terrifying experience and I swore that I would never have an epidural again.


   Two years later I conceived my son. My pregnancy with him was a bit more complicated and uncomfortable, but I stayed firm on my decision to never have another epidural. I would not cave this time. I decided that there was no way I would put my child, or myself, at risk again. I used my disappointment from my last birthing experience to strengthen my resolve, and I made it through. My water broke naturally, in the middle of the night, and excitement flowed through me for what was to come. I was, once again, given Pitocin as my contractions stalled. I relied on the same pain management techniques as with my first. I walked the halls, took countless showers, and bounced on one of those giant birthing balls for hours. As my body prepared to push, I climbed into bed, plugged in my earbuds, and started listening to the most relaxing music I could find; Loreena McKennitt, 'Mystic's Dream', if anyone is interested. I visualized each contraction as a wave rocking through my body and I knew the end was near. I instantly knew when I was ready to push. Power surged through me and I was filled with confidence in my body's ability. I felt like a warrior. Pushing was the easy part; every push dulled the pain of the contractions.  Then, he crowned. I won't sugar coat the pain in that; it was horrifying. Though it felt like hours, in reality it was over in a flash. I pulled my son from my body and everything else disappeared. I had just accomplished my biggest goal. I had  a non-medicated birth.

   While all three of my birthing experiences were amazing in their own way; there are some significant differences. Remember, I said that the epidural was like an addictive drug? Well, so was birthing naturally. The body can do amazing things; the hormones that surged through my body when my son was born were better than any drug I can imagine. It was truly beautiful and magical. I have such a deep connection with all my children but the level of emotion was heightened with my son. It’s almost indescribable and now, I know that I will never cave again. I know that I can do it. I know what my body is capable of, and I know that nothing is more amazing than creating, nurturing, and delivering an adorable tiny human, whom you will love and cherish forever.

   No matter what you choose, own it. Don't feel bad if you cave for an epidural. I don't. I am glad I had both experiences. I learned that plans can change, that there is no shame in giving in to fear or pain,  to trust and believe in myself. What better way to be informed than to live it? Make your birth experience how you want it to be and believe in yourself. Do what you believe is best for your child, your body,  and your mind.



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